This space has been neglected. Sporadic postings and even less sporadic comments with online friends has left me feeling more than a little guilty about going silent. Part of me feels like I need to explain. Part of me feels like every other blogger, actually every other person, has been here and already understands.
I am having trouble finding balance.
Balance between what’s expected of me and what I expect for myself.
Balance between what I want to and what I must do.
This balance thing is tricky. Just when I think I’ve got everything figured out, something changes, and I’m not one who appreciates change.
Trying to keep my life in balance has left me guilty and depleted. I haven’t been inspired to write and, although whining online brings comfort from friends, it feels overdone and, well…like I’m whining.
So I took a step back. I got offline and left my Twitter feed alone. I caught up on housework, my DVR and spent way too much time lounging around in bed. We took a trip home, celebrated Easter and Amelia’s third birthday.
Surprisingly (or not), taking a break from blogging didn’t help. I need this outlet. I need to have a space to put my thoughts – even my whiny, complainy ones. I missed sharing my adventures and annoyances. I missed reading about what everyone else was up to. I missed this.
I am still trying to get a handle on prioritizing the various demands on my time. I can’t promise to post on a regular schedule because, whether I like it or not, my life is not regular…or scheduled!
But I believe it took stepping back to realize that blogging isn’t something I do as an indulgence. It’s a necessary activity. Spending time on myself, whether to write or visit others who do, doesn’t detract from, but rather helps me maintain, that balance I’m so desperate for.