I have difficulty living in the moment. I don’t carpe diem very well. And I certainly struggle when asked to go with the flow.
I’m much better at planning moments than I am at enjoying them. In fact, I think I’d actually prefer to plan things for other people to enjoy. I don’t know why I’m this way, but I am old enough to accept that this is probably something about me that isn’t going to change.
Unfortunately, because I have trouble letting the days unfold organically, I have this fear that I will miss out on the magic of watching my kids enjoy their childhood. I don’t want them to look back on our summers together as one giant to do list, full of start times and expectations for planned fun. I want them to have wonder and spontaneity, even if those are the very things that make me craziest.
Also, I want to enjoy it.
That’s probably the most difficult thing about this endeavor. Not only do I want my kids to enjoy life, I want to enjoy them enjoying life. WTF?
Seriously though, I’ve been offline lately because I’m attempting to capture at least a few magical moments that will define this summer for them. Moments that will cancel out the days I spent sleeping off a night shift, or screaming about laundry and dirty bathrooms. I’m busy trying to create moments that we can dust off throughout the chaos of next year and use to inspire us for more moments in the years to come.